How We Answer Questions About Same-Sex Marriage Stems From Our Beliefs About Our Purpose

By: Laurie Krieg

November 21, 2022

How do you answer questions like: “Why can’t my female friend who is in love with her female best friend be able to get married biblically?” 

I believe this question stems from what we believe is our life’s purpose.

The world can say the purpose of our lives is: “To have a family, find our person, get a nice car, nice house, have my own practice, be happy…stuff like that.” (Adapted from Christian Smith’s survey of 3,290 young adults in Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood, pg. 93.)

The Church can say the purpose of our lives is: “To marry a good Christian, get a good job, make Christian babies, tithe and die. Oh, and something about glorifying God…”

What happens when we encounter questions about marrying someone of the same sex with this worldview?  

“Oh, sure, your goal is to find a spouse–but not that gender!”

Friends? We need to repent and pivot to a kingdom-oriented purpose. How?

Here is how I am teaching my young kids…

Kids, bemoaning: “Why do we have to go to school??” 

Me, swallows this easy response: “So you can get a good job and be a functioning citizen…” 

Says instead: ““You have to go because God has a special job for you to fulfill the big purpose of your life and everyone’s life. Do you know what that is?”

Kids: “Uh, nope.”

Me: “Remember how God made the world and then Adam and Eve sinned, and now we have darkness in the world?”

Kids: “I am so mad at them for doing that!”

Me: “Yeah…it stinks. BUT! God has given you a special gift and task to push back the darkness and usher in the light.” [AKA: To advance the kingdom of God.]

Kids: *Eyes widen*

Kids: “So, you have to go to school to learn how do to the special job God has for you to push back the darkness and usher in the light.“

Kids: “Huh. Ok.”

It’s easier to say to the kids we disciple, “Please, grow up nicely so you can get a good job and get married so I can stop worrying about you and finally rest!” 

But that’s not a gospel-mindset. It’s worldly. And when people come to us asking for our blessing on their same-sex marriages when we have such a just-get-married-and-get-a-good-job worldview, we are already argumentatively in the negative.

Before we encourage toward God’s design for marriage we must live out God’s purpose of our one lives:

We are to push back the darkness and usher in the light. We are to advance the Kingdom of God.

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2 thoughts on “How We Answer Questions About Same-Sex Marriage Stems From Our Beliefs About Our Purpose

  1. Powerful. Thank you so much for your commitment to Jesus, to the extent that you have heard depths of His heart and received understanding on things that are tough without His revelation.

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