Episode 73

The Need to be Included with Ethan Renoe

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{Week 6 Core Need is the need to be includedWanted in this group, team, or partnership;
belonging}

It seems as if the good need God put into us before the Fall to belong or be included goes hand-in-hand with authenticity. To belong–truly belong–we must be willing to get real. But how many of us feel we are scoring 100% at the relational authenticity level? Social media tells us we have hundreds or thousands of friends, but do we really belong? This is what our guest, Ethan Renoe, calls the “new lonely,” and he wrote a book with the same title: The New Lonely: Intimacy in the Age of Isolation. 

Ethan and the guys (Laurie is out sick!) explore how we try to solve our loneliness problem through wanderlust, pornography, and Ethan’s viral, overnight fame. (Do you remember the video of the guy running shirtless in the rain?) The guys also play a Goofball Island game where they have to insert the moral of the story into some classic youth group entertainment.

​Thanks for hanging out with us–it helps take off some of the edge of universal problem of loneliness.

Highlights:

​”I realized I was in a really unhealthy pattern where I would show up to a place and I’d be this really mysterious, cool, traveler guy, and before anyone could get to know me, I would leave.”
–Ethan Renoe

“Lonely people will often try to get rid of the loneliness by drowning it out. It’s still going to be there when you’re alone and it’s quiet.” –Ethan Renoe

“I was trying to pour from an empty cup. I was filling that void with false digital relationships with women on the internet. There was moment where I realized I can be real with people. I can say when I have a bad day, when I’m feeling excluded, and people can respond to how I’m feeling . . . People can get to know the real me.” –Ethan Renoe

Do the Next Thing:
Check out Ethan’s site and his books!
Two of Ethan’s posts he mentions are “Are Men Starving for Physical Touch?” and “The Epidemic of Male Loneliness.”
Find Ethan Renoe on the IG

Question of the Week for Next Week:
​We talk often about the need for authenticity, but why don’t we actually be more authentic with each other–especially in church?

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