October 24, 2019
The more I look at progressive changes regarding sexuality and gender in our country, the more I am involved with walking alongside churches, LGBT+ people, and parents of LGBT+ kids, the more I am convinced there is a simple but challenging way to fight the darkness:
Work on your marriage.
Let me explain:
What is the purpose of marriage?
Not what are the arguments against same-sex marriage (which can be found here), but what is the purpose of God’s design for marriage?
Human marriage serves as a metaphor of God’s crazy love for the Church.
A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
(Eph 5:31-32)
Our marriages exist to show the world how divinity (represented by men) wants to be one with humanity (represented by women).
“The ultimate purpose of the sexual difference and the call to union is to signify the difference and call to union of the Creator and the creature, of Christ and his Church …
God is infinitely other, infinitely different form his creation. And yet this infinitely different Creator does not hold himself aloof.
God wants to be one with his creation. God wants to unite with his creation. God wants to marry his creation.” —Christopher West
When people look at your metaphor of this God-humanity marriage, what do they see?
Do they see two people dying to themselves to be one with each other to represent Jesus’ death to be one with us?
Do they see women submitting to and respecting husbands—not because the husband deserves it—but because she wants to show the world a picture of how we are to submit to and respect God?
Do they see men mutually submitting to and serving their wives—not because she deserves it—but because the husband wants to show the world a picture of humble, gentle, servant Jesus?
Does the world see divinity’s desire to be one with humanity in your marriage?
Or does the world (do our kids?) see us roll our eyes at each other? Secretly resent one another? Function like two roommates, and yet for some reason we keep saying that “God’s good design for marriage is between one man and one woman”?
We say marriage is good, but we don’t live like it is good.
How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” (Matt. 7:4-5)
They will not know we are Christians by our voting. By our posting. By our outrage. They will know we are Christians by our oneness.
“May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.” (John 17:23)
If we want to do something about progressive changes in our world, we must start by holding up a mirror to our marriages.
1. Pray: I have been praying that the changes in our world are delayed for as long as God is able. Matt and I are also often praying for our marital oneness to be a witness to the world how much God crazy loves them.
2. Work: Guys? Get cracking on your marriage. This is our favorite marriage book by Francis and Lisa Chan, and it is a great launching point. (Tim and Kathy Keller have a new devotional coming out for couples, and a sweet interview just posted about it with the two of them right here.)
3. Read: Curious about those progressive changes? You can read more here and here.
4. Get Trained: We take this message and infuse it in our Journey Well Workshop. Hit us up for a free consultation to see if our training is good for your church, ministry, or team.
5. Subscribe: You want to find out first about our marriage book that is coming out next fall? Follow us on Instagram or sign up on the right for our blog updates.
