If you choose a life of vulnerability, you choose a life of continuously coming out–no matter your story, no matter your vulnerable places, no matter your struggle.
You are always coming out into authenticity.
Today, I (Laurie) share one of the first times I came out to a friend. And this is cool: This friend, Amber McClurg, is on the show! Hear Amber and I talk about that first (quite awkward) coming out experience, and what good came from it in spite of the awkwardness.
Additionally, Matt, Producer Steve, Amber and I chat about our words for 2018, things we don’t like sharing, how to know if someone is safe to come out to, having a “healthy mistrust of yourself,” heart-focused accountability, how we need more than one friend, and the risks of friendship.
Podcast Extras: I quote this: “In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets… Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, ‘Here comes one who will augment our loves’ For in this love ‘to divide is not to take away.’”—CS Lewis, The Four Loves
I mention accountability questions Amber and I asked each other. Here they are:
- What number were you on the lust/struggling with sin scale this week? Why do you think that is? [8-10 meaning I am imminently going to do something I shouldn’t. 1-3 meaning no problem at all. I, Laurie, usually hang out at a 4 range, so anything higher is something to note.]
- Is there anyone you spent extended time thinking about this week?
- What do you think you might be missing/anxious about/angry about/sad about in your heart that is driving these thoughts?
- What have you clicked on, read about, or looked at that stirred lustful thoughts in you?
- What are the God-glorifying pieces of this that you can thank God for? (Desire for intimacy, relationships, connection)
- How is your shame scale this week? Why do you think that is? [8-10 meaning I really hate myself. 1-3 meaning I am doing well in my self-perception.]
- How is your respect and love of [your spouse/those with whom you are in a committed friendship (read: like the disciples)/etc.] this week? Why do you think that is?
- What, of the above, do you need to confess as sin? (Lust, clicking, idolizing, etc.) What are you confessing as sin that you don’t need to? (Temptation, etc.)
Then: Spend some time praying, pour out your heart to God, confess, take back the ground you gave to the enemy, give it back to God, and receive from him whatever he wants to give you to replace what you have confessed.
Helpful Link: Our friend Hayley Mullins wrote this article, “When a Loved One Comes Out.” It could be helpful for us as we learn to receive each other authentically.
Question of the Week: What was the best present you gave and received this year?
BONUS PODCAST: Six extra minutes to spread Christmas joy. 🙂
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