There is intense pain in the world and in our hearts–based on national or personal tragedy.

We may be quick to jump to anger, to text someone, to Twitter, to do something. These actions may not be wrong, but they can be wrong-hearted if we skip an important step: going to the Father with lament that leads to forgiveness and eventual love for our enemies.

It feels impossible–really, truly loving our enemies–but as believers we are called to do the impossible with the One who empowers us.

But how in the world can we do this lament that leads to forgiveness that leads to genuine love for our enemies?

We get as practical as we can in this episode, breaking down how we lament in real life, and even give you a bonus episode where Matt leads us like a midwife to birth these laments today. 🙂

Highlights:
“I picture the cross of Christ, but I don’t put the person … on the cross … He deserves it. So do I.”
–Laurie Krieg

“If there is anything that you could get out of this, yes, lament and understand what it is. But, understand that the God we go to is a God who wants all of us. Not just the joy, not just the sad, not just the stoic, not just the put-together, and not just the broken. All of it.” –Matt Krieg

Here are some of the things we talked about in the episode:

WHEN do we know we need to lament (ie. vent to Someone who can do something about it)?

1. OVER angry/sad/anxious about something…
2. UNDER angry/sad/anxious about something (CAN’T FEEL…something is making me emotionally constipated…)
3. BITTER…and haven’t forgiven (when you talk about x, y, z person/thing/issue, something intense riles up in you every time)
4. PEOPLE seem to not get angry/sad enough with you, and you’re looking for someone to GET IT
5. REMEMBER a weird memory that won’t let you go…
6. BUMP INTO LIES repeatedly like “I am no good… I am worthless… Everyone is out to get me… Caring for my heart is childish and stupid…”
7. CAN’T THINK…trying to make a decision but it all feels like a mishmash of crazy emotion

​
​HOW do we lament?

1. Sit down with yourself
2. Write to God (with the goal of popping the emotion bubble inside/birthing the pain underneath…)
   1. What happened/is happening?
   2. What SIN is happening?
   3. How do I feel about it?
   4. How do I feel about God right now?
   5. How do I feel about myself right now?
   6. How do I feel about the world?
   7. Keep directing it all at God… (“God, I feel you are…”)
   8. Follow pockets of emotion inside of you that you feel you DON’T want to go to, or feel the strongest emotionally
   9. Swearing welcome
   10. GOAL: Get the emotion out…get to the bottom of the emotion barrel

THEN what?

1. STOP: Take a break here and GO TO SAFE PLACE BY YOURSELF (Listen to this to hear how Matt guides us to this place where we can feel safe with God) or with a friend 
2. While in Safe Place, after reading your lament, be asking yourself questions:
   1. How do I feel about God?
   2. How do I feel about myself?
   3. How do I feel about the world?
      1. Goal: To connect your heart to God’s heart
      2. Goal: Release the emotion inside
      3. Goal: Forgive if forgiveness needs to happen–of another person or yourself
3. FORGIVENESS PART
   1. After getting emotion out, envision Jesus on the cross and picture giving him each sin the person/group of people did. He chooses to die for it. 
   2. Pray: “God, I give up the right to pay this person back. I will either be too harsh or too lenient. YOU are the judge. I surrender them to you.”
   3. Then: Put YOUR SIN on the cross with theirs. “How did I sin in response to their sin?” Watch Jesus die for it, too. EQUALLY
   4. Picture Him rising again, scarred but loving of you and your enemy equally
4. PRAY: Say, “I take back the ground I gave to the enemy by my sin, and I give it to you, God.”
5. PRAY: “God, will you show me a gift/give me an image of what you are going to do as a result? Or show me something that will help solidify this?” Wait and listen
6. PRAY: Thank God for whatever is on your heart. 
7. PRAY: Ask Jesus, “Father, what do you want me to do with this? How am I to respond?” Wait for him to put into your hands the next right step. It may be activism, it may be prayer, it may be taking to Twitter, it may be going to the person who wronged you and saying you love them…but if the Spirit moves through this simple process, your heart will be different than when you began.​

Laurie quoted R.A. Torrey, a Proverb, and referred to a Tim Keller sermon in this episode:
RA Torrey said, “We should never utter one syllable of prayer either in public or in private, until we are definitely conscious that we have come into the presence of God, and are actually praying to Him.” Torrey goes as far as to say to pray without recognizing the we are speaking to the one “who lives in eternity” (Isaiah 57:15) and whose thoughts “are completely different from yours” (Is. 55:8), is to take God’s name in vain. 

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.” (Prov. 14:10)

That Keller sermon about the verse that essentially says we are all intensely lonely is here.

Also, we first learned about Safe Place prayer with Healing Care Ministries. Check them out here.

Here are episodes where we have talked about lament:
Episode 82 with Mark Vreogop
​Episode 81 with Ann Voskamp
Episode 75 with Michael Card
Bonus: Facing the Unthinkable Talk (We can only face unthinkable pain if we lament and forgive)
Episode 63 with Sharon Garlough Brown
Episode 12 with Carolyn Schroeder
Episode 10 with The Crew
​
Do the Next Thing:

• Did you do this process? Tell us about it! Email Laurie at lk@lauriekrieg.com.
• Matt and Laurie do “how to walk well alongside LGBT+ people” training. Reach out to info@lauriekrieg.com for more information
• That HIMH Podcast FB group? Check it out here !

Question of the Week for next week:
When was a time you were 90% you heard from God about something, stepped out in shakey-legged faith, and saw God do something cool?
Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com, comment here, or find Laurie Krieg on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter to answer.